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Ruminations on the Last of my Forties submitted 2011.07.27 01:59 PM by SledgeHammer viewed 2410 times


So today I turn 49. Not that old, (not, you know, BigMike old) but it reminds me that my next birthday will be my first fifty. Some thoughts, as they occur to me:

I find myself saying things like "Why are those kids so damn loud?" or alternately "Why can't I hear those kids?"

I wonder how I ever read a book under that dim light.

Why do they make the print so damn small?

I complain about my bad knee, my bad ankle, my bad hip.

I actually thought at work the other day, "You know, I could start acting like a real manager and take some ownership of this project."

Inevitably one starts looking back instead of forward. You realize it's too late to affect your child's behavior.

You realize that maybe it wouldn't have been so bad if you had stayed in the military.

You realize that maybe a degree would have been useful at some point.

You realize that the number of "some points" you get are finite.

I am not knocking getting older. Frankly, I'm just kind of running out the clock, hoping that there might be something after that final buzzer. I don't wish I was younger - and I think many older folks feel this way, younger folks just don't realize it - I just wish I had used the time better.

I don't want to go off on a "time is precious" rant. You either use it or you don't. However you contemplate fate, you do what you do, you have an effect on the world or you don't, you make a difference or you don't. It's how you treat these things in your mind that counts. The only thing you can really change is yourself. The rest is just residual.

Many say the world owes you nothing. If that's true then you owe nothing to the world as well. It's all a wash in the end. Be what you are.

I guess what I'm saying is don't worry about the past or the future. You cannot see the ends of the threads on which you pull.



rating: 12


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