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Nothing weird ever happens, ever. submitted 2011.02.18 05:27 PM by Willis viewed 2226 times

I've never seen a bigfoot. A plate has never mysteriously flown across the kitchen during my morning coffee. I've never growled words of an unknown tongue while priests busy themselves exorcising a demon from my body. I've never seen a plesiosaur down at the resevoir.

I'm afraid the world of paranormal experience is passing me by. It's a shame. I've always been captivated by it, and I would love to encounter something unexplained. Sadly nothing otherworldly will haunt or abduct me. For over three decades I've remained a skeptic. But not by choice.

Just where are my poltergiests, my little green men? Why hasn't a stocky, hirsute, long-armed bigfoot crawled into my small dome tent? Am I just too unappealing? Is my life so dull no ghost will torment me? Is my gastrointestinal tract unworthy of the spaceman's analytical instruments? I don't understand why I'm being left out.

I hope to encounter something weird or unearthly someday. Of course this depends entirely on the persnickety phenomena haunting, hovering, and clumsily striding through our world. Perhaps later, with a stroke of luck, I'll hear the door in the other room close by itself. I'm not counting on it.

I feel I have waited long enough. It is time something spook the skeptic out of me.

I'm waiting.

rating: 6

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