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Paranate submitted 2009.10.19 03:49 AM by slinkysmurfette viewed 1414 times

Once I had a creative non busy mind.
Free to write and think. Free to do what I wanted to.
Is it horrid that sometimes I blame my family for not having that me time anymore?
Why must I feel like I just want to be alone so much?
Sometimes I feel that if it was just me I would not be going through any of this.
If it was just me then I'd be misrable because I could not imagine life with out my daughter.
Confuses me.
I am a wonderful people person.
People just have a way of opening up to me.
I love that or I use to.
What has happened to me?
I get paranoid that I am losing my personality.
My personality kicks ass and lottsa ass so what is going on?
I have noticed that tense aggrivation feeling when people talk to me for more than two minutes.
Drives me crazy. The sound of their voice blah, blah, blah's into my ear and sends a signal to my hands that just clench into a fist and my teeth grind together and I just want to yell, "Shut the phuck up!" But I don't, I just sit there and drive myself crazy listeneing to the voice I just wish would be voiceless.

And of course Paranate is a word from Crystal's mind. Paranoid and aggrivated at the same time means Paranate.

rating: 7

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