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Forgetting. submitted 2009.10.05 04:00 AM by Symbolic_ viewed 1854 times

I look around my room my gaze focused on your old pillow. Worn and ragged, I grip it in my arms trying to remember. Your pillow was left behind one day, since you bought a new one, you no longer needed this one. I wondered how much that pillow had seen, and what it would say if it could talk. I remember those nights where a boy and girl tried playing grown up for hours on end. Talks of marriage, talks of kids, talks of all the things every couple does at least once in their relationship. I remember laying in my bed next to you, holding you, kissing you, wrapping my arms around you. I remember when I'd used to say I love you, and you'd smile in agreement. Suppose I miss that smile most of all, perhaps the girl who wore the smile even more.

"I miss the old days."

"Huh what do you mean?"

"You know the way things used to be."

"Ahh yeah, I wonder whatever happened to that naive couple?"

"They were the victims of their own love, and the egos of the outside world. Perhaps in truth, they never stood a chance."

"Maybe, but you know me always the hopeless romantic. Maybe one day that couple will make a grand appearance and be the talk of the town."

"Maybe, maybe in another life when we're both cats."

I remember alcohol and scars, wine and alchemy. I remember you walking out the door, the first, last, and all the times between. I remember a couple that made plans, but somehow never made it out the door. A couple that would get in the car and go for a drive on a whim and a half empty wallet.

I remember sitting in the wal mart parking lot at 1 a.m. The scorpions wind of change blaring from the radio. Our tongues entwined, my hand on your breast, your hand on my upper thigh. Our tongues take a break as I nibble on your ear and kiss your neck, your hand advancing up my thigh and caressing the ever growing bulge in my pants. You unhook my belt, unbutton my pants and continue to tease me. I continue kissing your neck as you let out a sigh and ask if we could go home already. I nod in agreement, as we get composed I start the car and we make that drive. That drive that I used to live for.

"You lied to me."

"I know I'm sorry."

"Sorry can't cut it, it's become your calling card."

"What do you want me to do? I hate myself for this there's no excuse I know."

"I don't know any more things just aren't the same, we're not the same."

"No and we haven't been for a while now."

I remember having to take you home from work, and having to be at work just thirty minutes later. kissing you at the gate and saying those words "Until you're in my arms again". If there was one moment I wish I could've captured in my life, it was your facial expression whenever I gave you your first rose. I remember you were frustrated because I had gotten lost on the way. Eventually I arrived, your demeanor was annoyed but quickly melted into joy; as you saw that red rose in your seat. I looked at you in amazement, wishing I could give you that feeling for the rest of your life. Wishing I could paint over every sad moment, every broken promise, and every loud scream in your life with just that moment.

I put your old pillow down and proceed out the door. I enter into the slippery slope my life has become. If you were here right now, I would tell you myself, but ultimately thank you for being alive.

rating: 8

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