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Life. submitted 2009.06.09 05:06 AM by Symbolic_ viewed 1318 times

To tell you the truth, this isn't really written in an exact coherent manner. Though this may seem pretentious of me, I consider it to be done so for accuracy purposes. If you disagree please let me know why etc..

I like that video, because it feels less like a rap video even though that's what it is.

...Anyways this is probably in that work in progress category.

I've lived on both sides of the spectrum. I think myself not so much modest, but not so much prideful, but also not so much awake half the time.

If you want the truth, sometimes I feel myself going to sleep even while being alive and active around people I know. Not because they're boring, or I'm bored exactly, but because it feels like the cross hairs of routine are aimed at my back.

Seems like the same mistakes keep getting made on my end and everyone elses around me. I want to resolve that, but feel an arm pulling me back down. I don't know feels like I'm in this gigantic hole that never seems to end. The more I climb up the more pressure is placed on my back, the more tired my body gets, the more light I see, the more hands appear below me, the more fresh air I'm able to breath.


You are now breathing manually.


What I can tell you about people is this, and what I have to say is by no means the final word. I am merely relating to you what I've noticed that is all. If your interpretation differs please let me know.

People are very destructive, to not just each other, but to others as well. I say this not just as a worker at a fast food place, but as a son, a driver, a lover and also a non believing Scientologist. (Disclaimer, I'm not a scientologist and never have been)

To explain it as easily as possible, I will describe my experiences as a driver as I have only been driving for coming on two years. There are a good deal of people out there, who will cut you off in traffic. There are people who will honk at you, even though you correct the mistake you were about to make. That part I've never fully understood, that is why someone would still honk though no fault was done. I mean, do the people feel it's their duty to point out to you you've made a mistake? My apologies to you dear driver, however, unless you are a traffic cop your honk is just noise pollution.

Though, it's also very possible from their perspective they'd rather be sure you wont make the mistake. They may believe that their honk will set you on the right path, because you wont want to hear it again. I suppose that's the problem with people going around honking at each other. It's very hard to convey any emotion or explanation from a honk, except that it means there's something entirely wrong. The only times I've really heard people honk are out of frustration, or the aforementioned.

When I drive if I can't get into the lane I need to, I usually try to resolve the issue without having to cut someone off. Which usually means, I drive ahead and turn around some where. I mean in all honesty, it's not all that hard to do that and it doesn't waste all that much gas. I remember I was driving with my grandfather who is half paralyzed. He was urging me to cut these people off because if I didn't I would have to turn around ahead as I usually do. His logic was, "In chicago if your nose is in, you go for it." So I took his advice, and I managed to get in, only after they seemed to be letting me in by allotting just enough space. I thought to myself they saw my blinker and decided to do the nice thing and let me in. This wasn't the case, they sped around next to me with a seemingly broken horn, armed with constipated angry faces, and produced an extended middle finger.

I was mad for a second, but forgot about it.

I always wondered why people never let each other in, or practiced common courtesy on the road. But you know what I realized, you really can't control what other people do or what they believe. Even if your perception is to you the correct perception. That and, the only way I would get my point across would be if I practiced the same common courtesy I expected others to do. Though the person I may let into my lane may be some jerk, I will never know, all I know is I did the right thing and helped them out because I could. And hopefully they would do the same, not just for me but for anyone else in the same predicament.

I did the same thing at my old high school also. If I bought something from the snack machine and I had extra change, I would put it back in the machine. I did this so the person after me wouldn't have to spend as much on their food. I never saw who used the machines after me because it was usually after school and my bus came early. In this same scenario, the person who used it could've been some person in one of my classes I absolutely despised. It really wouldn't have bothered me though, maybe my course of action could lead them to reconsider all the things I despised them for. Or maybe they'd of gotten cocky with all life has given them thinking they just took some poor saps money. Either way I know I did the right thing and my intention was to let someone out there know, could've been anyone, there are still people who care.


You are now blinking manually.


Fear seems to be a common theme starting point of all that can and will go wrong.

In the words of Madea (yes I saw Madea goes to Jail, but it was for a depressed girl I did. And luckily I was able to put a smile on her face as a result.)

"I'll get them before they get me."

Usually her methods of revenge happen as a result of her getting disrespected in some way. Madea however, retaliates in a way that is abnormal and overboard. Which as a result lands her in court time and time again.

But it doesn't even have to be about that in reality. To quote the great Gandhi

"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind."

I always thought it was funny when people would talk shit about each other where I used to work. Then they would get suspicious of the people they would talk to and in turn talk shit about that person. They would also try to get you to join in and create this strange hating group mentality.


We were all comrades because we found another employees work to be lacking compared to ours. Then the question began to sink into ourselves, if that person is ever gone, would I then be viewed as the next weak link? And if so, would the same unkind words I used then be used against me?

Which is why, I no longer work at Jack in the Box and where I work currently I do not engage in office gossip. Essentially, gossip in my mind serves no purpose nor solves any problem. To truly solve the problem one should communicate the fault they find with the person and do so calmly and rationally. Make sure the fault you find is legitimate and not just because you're envious or jealous in some way. Other wise the person will never know and potentially keep making the same mistakes and keep pissing you off. If you're afraid they wont listen, just say it once after that it's really up to them if they want to change. If they don't oh well, figure out a way around their faults you perceive, or try to see the logic in it in some way. But if you'd rather have nothing to do with the people so be it, but don't turn around and complain at every interval when you make no attempt to rectify the situation.

I remember once, two managers were talking about fellow employees. They were speaking of the employees like they were work animals. After I pointed this out to them, they were really quiet and never spoke in such a manner again. I wonder though, if there were other higher ups that saw them the same way.

I will leave this at that not because I don't believe that's the end of it, but because the answer I gave you was my interpretation. I am seeking yours to fill in any gaps I have and get a better understanding of the subject. In fact, I feel that way honestly at the end of everything I've written so far.


You now have an itch somewhere on your body.


I think war is the most fascinating subject one can study. I think it's fascinating because so much more is revealed about a person through what they choose to do when it comes to being a life or death situation. This is one of the reasons why some people are honored in the history books, while others are simply forgotten. But I'm not saying that war is the means to kill off the weak, far be it, strong people die all the time in war but manage to inspire those weaker than them and sometimes go unmentioned. It's funny, little known fact about World War 1. After the war was over, all the men in opposing bunkers came out and started hugging each other. They started having beers sharing food rations, they were just very friendly. But hours before that they'd of likely shot one another at such a range.

There are people in this world that want us to accept war and all its forms. But we must only accept that which is necessary to our own survival. To put it simply, we shouldn't be causing a ruckus in other countries and act as if there isn't already blood on our hands. 9/11 serves as a reminder of the day that war was brought to the American door step. Though I mourn the loss of all those on that day, and honor the men and women that gave their lives to save others, I can also see how it's an outcry as well. To go any further than I've already gone, I'd have to get information from sources you might not deem reputable. Though, my main source is a fellow by the name of Noam Chomsky an MIT Professor of Linguistics. I urge you to hear his thoughts on 9/11 as well as other things.

I will however leave this with the words of the Former Secretary of Defense Robert McNamara from the Documentary the Fog of War.

You now have the final countdown playing in your head.

To Be Continued.

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