| Koran 9:11- Are We Really This Retarded? submitted 2009.05.28 05:29 PM by Flack viewed 517 times | |||||
| A few years ago, I received a chain email from somebody that told of a prophesy fitting today's wars in the middle east and central Asia as foretold by the Koran.4 years later, today actually, it came back to my inbox. Here is the gist of it: "Blah Blah Blah .....God... Blah Blah Blah... terrorist... Blah Blah Blah... random idiocy... Blah Blah.... Don't believe me? See for yourself: 'Koran (9:11 ) - For it is written that a son of Arabia would awaken a fearsome Eagle. The wrath of the Eagle would be felt throughout the lands of Allah and lo, while some of the people trembled in despair still more rejoiced; for the wrath of the Eagle cleansed the lands of Allah; and there was peace.' " Do you believe this? Do you? Personally, I think its a bunch of shit. "But Scott, how wud u no wat it sayz LOLZ!?//??!1!!?/!one!" Because if you had Grey matter in your head rather than deep fried squirrel rectum between your ears, you'd be smart enough to check the source. What's the source? The Koran. So gather round people. You are about to be edumacated by the best. Man, I'm gonna blow your mind! The Koran (or Quran, or Q'ran, et al.) is divided into 114 chapters, known as "suras." In these suras are verses, called "ayas." Koran Sura 9, Aya 11, says the following: "But if they repent and keep up with prayer and pay the poor-rate (charity), they are your brethren in faith, and we make communication clear for people who know." Man. People are stupid. I like to imagine this trifle of a chain letter being dreamt up by some southern, extreme-right-wing idiot who had just acquired a computer and internet connection in his double-wide he shares with his sister/wife. He had been at a "support the Iraq War" rally and some dipshit who married his cousin/mother told him," Yee haw, I bet this was all foreseen in that dangone book of theirs, the Keran!" First, let's examine the chain e-mail's claim. Obviously, the Eagle is a reference to The USA due to the fact that we put Eagles on damn near everything, and "son of Arabia" refers to Bin Laden as he is originally from (duh) Saudi Arabia. However, lets assume that when the Eagle swoops over the land and fucks shit up, that land is "Arabia." Well... that would be all fine and good but Iraq is located in (duh) Mesopotamia and Afghanistan is (duh) WAY out of the way of the Arabian peninsula. Does it mean "Muslim lands"? Well, the highest population of Muslims in the world actually reside in Malaysia and Indonesia which is a good distance away from where the conflicts actually are. So that in itself should set off any reasonable person's bullshit detector. Unless we eventually attack Malaysia for some damn reason. Oh and lands of Allah also include North Africa, Micronesia, Central Asia, and Detroit, Mi. So lets hope that Eagle goes nuts up in Dearborn so those damn calls to prayer stop waking people up at 5:30 in the morning and maybe the Kuwaiti asshole that lived above my apartment in Shelby Township will finally stop bothering people with the sounds of him beating his wife and 6pm. Another thing. The word "Arabia" appears NOWHERE in Quran. This is because the term "Arabia" hadn't been coined until the Sharia Bedouin Muslim nomads founded the area known today as "Arabia" some 700 years after the first published copy of the Quran. In fact, the word "Arab" doesnt even appear in the Quran. The closest thing to this is the use of "arrabyyun" which means "lagnguage of Arabic." Man, am I smart or what? Now let's find some meaning in the REAL Verse: Its about praying and giving in exchange for salvation. No joke or smart-ass comment there. Its actually a GOOD thing to be charitable and spiritual. Another thing that extremely pisses me off about the whole concept of Islam is this: These Christian idiot zealots who say, "Well it ain't my God." Actually, Bubba, it is YOUR God. See Islam is descended from the same religious tree as Judaism and Christianity. Abraham (or Ibrahim in the Koran) was the first of ALL the Judeo-Islamic-Christian prophets and it goes from there. In fact, Moses and Jesus (called Isa in the Koran) are Muslim prophets. Need proof? Google the phrase "Jesus in the Koran" and see what comes up. Or you could expand your mind and actually read the damn text, for what its worth. But I know that would leave you with less time to watch NASCAR, drink Bud light, and have sex with someone in your extended (or in some cases, immediate) family. Moral of story: Don't be retarded. In fact, stop sending and reading chain letters because 99.9 percent of them are total,unadulterated, inane bullshit. Unless they're really funny and have pictures of naked women. Then send away! By the way, you're welcome. ( If I, by any chance, fucked this up and you see corrections that need to be made, PLEASE let me know before I submit this to another site) | |||||
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