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The first draft of the first part of a story I'm attempting (Sounds good, huh?) submitted 2009.04.17 04:07 AM by CATAL viewed 1340 times


"That's a stupid name."

This sentence seemed to characterize Dunko Barbaros's entire life, as I'm sure you can imagine. After all, Dunko Barbaros is not a very usual name. In fact, it is an entirely unusual name and it is this fact that causes that sentence to be uttered with such alacrity throughout his rather stupid life. You see, as stupid as Dunko's name was, Dunko was even stupider, so perhaps it was befitting that such a stupid man should have such a stupid name.

His wasn't an entirely unpleasant life. He had a job, not a good job mind you, but he had a job all his own. He had a family, not a family that socialized or spent time together, but he had a family (although I suppose we all have families, so this might not be something worth bragging about, not that this would occur to Dunko Barbaros?). He had no girlfriend or wife, but that did not bother him entirely too much. He had attempted a romantic relationship in the past and found it too much work. In the end he couldn't maintain the effort of convincing her to stay, so she left. He had loved. He had lost. Overall he was the same for all of it.

One might wonder how he managed to live his pathetically meager life without depression or a lack of enthusiasm (Dunko was chock full of that), but then again that is putting too much thought into it, at least more thought than poor Dunko had in him. He had no time for depression, he had no time for thought; his mind was always on the moment, even if the moment amounted to nothing more than sitting still and staring blankly at the wall until it was time to go to bed.

Dunko's life was a simple one and he had no cause for complaint. Why would he? After all, no one had ever told him he had anything to complain about, so how could he know to complain? As far as he knew, his life was nothing to be ashamed of, he didn't know any better. He didn't realize that his life sucked. Dunko clearly was not the brightest individual.

In fact, Dunko had never even realized he had a stupid name until the day someone had told him so.

"That's a stupid name."

The first time he had ever heard that, Dunko was shocked.

"Really? Oh my, I didn't know that. Thank you for telling me, I never would have guessed," he replied without a shred of sarcasm. Dunko didn't even know how to be sarcastic and if he did he never would have dreamed of implementing it into a conversation, especially a conversation with a stranger who so generously offered up the fruits of their own knowledge. This was lost on that particular enlightening individual however, and the perceived insult threw them into a fit of rage causing them to slam their fist into poor Dunko's insulting, stupid face.

As a rule now, whenever someone points out the obvious and tells poor Dunko Barbaros, "That's a stupid name," Dunko throws up his hands shouting, "I know! I know! I'm sorry!" This tactic has met with mixed results, but poor Dunko isn't clever enough to think up any other response.

For those of you sympathetic to poor Dunko Barbaros, who feel that old familiar tug on your heartstrings at his misfortunes, don't worry your pretty little heads. You see, poor Dunko Barbaros does not lament his unfortunate circumstances or his suck-filled life. In fact, Dunko considers himself quite fortunate, the idiot. He considers himself to be the luckiest man alive. Considering the circumstances, the irony might be that he's right. Dunko just doesn't know enough to be depressed.

You see, to be fair, his misconceptions stem entirely from ignorance. One never knows exactly how little they have until someone comes along and points it out. And no one ever pointed out to Dunko that he had nothing, that his life sucks. For all his intents and purposes, Dunko had everything. He had a job. He had a family. He had a failed romance. What more could one want?

Now I'm sure many of you have a number of answers to the above question, but that is precisely why you're unhappy with your lives and poor, stupid Dunko Barbaros isn't.



rating: 3


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